PodCamp Atlanta — I was there

I'm learning a lot about social media these days. I just previewed here the BlogHer Business 07 conference I'll be participating in later this week in NYC, and now I'm reviewing PodCamp Atlanta, an unconference I participated in this past weekend! With such deep and wide immersion in the hands-on conversation on new media and the power of the Internet, I hope to upgrade my geek skills if not my social skills!

I got interested in podcasts when I ran out of excuses to exercise (read: walk). I reasoned, if I could listen to some of my favorite NPR radio talk programs, especially the interviews anytime, anywhere I could theoretically walk briskly an hour without aching to quit! So I asked Ariel, an Israeli friend who is an uber online deal finder to locate an iPod at a great price. He, more than half my age, demanded to know, "Do you want to be cool or do you want to listen to podcasts?" Not stopping for an answer, he shoved a small blue device and earphones in my hands. "Here, use my [under $60] Mp3 player, and let me know in a week whether you still need an iPod." (Since then, I have upgraded one time the same device, same brand to hold more podcasts.)

When not exercising;-) I've been blogging and discovering on some others' blogs the occasional podcast (and video). Hmm, if I only I could create and then embed one of these media files into my blog to convey a message in the most effective way! When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Enter PodCamp Atlanta: A two-day camp that didn't require name tags sewn on my clothes nor sleeping in a bunk or tent. Fellow camper-participants included more than 150 podcasters, listeners, bloggers, readers, and sponsors. Most of the professors, students, small business owners, freelancers, full-time employees, retirees, community organizers, and the one baby and dog came from local places. While most participants arrived at the Emory University Alumni House venue from greater metropolitan Atlanta (I drove seven minutes from my home, a record commute!), others came from points southeast (Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, as examples), the north (Pennsylvania), and midwest (Ohio).

Whether participants arrived late, left early, could only participate in one session at the same time, or want to revisit a session, they (and anyone else) can listen to session podcast versions listed in this aptly named link, What would PodCamp Atlanta be without podcasts?

Check out this set of randomly-selected PodCamp Atlanta reviews. Live bloggers, early risers, and otherwise generous and talented participants wrote them:

• brotherlove everywhere
• PodCamp Atlanta Wrap-Up
• Ponderings from the Podcamp Atlanta
• Official Caffeine Provider
• Podcamp Atlanta Day one
• PodCamp Atlanta Going On Now
• PodCamp Atlanta
• Harmen's not-so-great day

Last, what's a blog post without a picture? Shown below, four folks discover over lunch (choose one: grilled salmon, crab cakes, or chicken teriyaki) that they share a profound admiration and affection for George Kelly! Three had met George at a new media conference, and one, though he never met George, designed one of his blogs! Everyone spoke of George's selflessness and generosity: "He picked me up, a virtual friend in cyberspace and now a fellow conference participant at the airport, drove around for some sightseeing, and bought lunch"; "He made available his Mac power cord when I was on 'low' with no cord on hand"; and "He offered to share his hotel room when my funds were low." All agreed that probably George's greatest gift is his energy “which soothes the frantic and restores to zapped souls: sanity, serenity, or both." George. You rock, and we love you.

George Kelly Fan Club (Atlanta chapter)

top row: J and Tiffany; bottom: Tamar and Karsh

BlogHer Business 07 — I'll be there

March 22 and 23 you'll find me in New York City where I’ll be joining about 200 women (and a few "token" guys) from the business blogosphere at the BlogHer conference (theme: How to Succeed in a Social Media World).

(Unlike traditional media — licensed print, online, broadcasting, and production companies — social media are online tools that users produce or influence, and that foster collaboration and sharing. Example social media are Wikipedia, MySpace, YouTube, and Flickr. Also, blogs [estimated 60 million as of November 2006!], message boards, and podcasts.)

I am excited to be meeting a party of wired people while I learn more about online collaboration and sharing among users and what others are doing and want to accomplish. Lucky me! I have a bloghership (free conference registration) in exchange for being an official conference live audio blogger who is contributing to the text, video, and audio conference record.

Companies that listen to audiences are rare. Most businesses still look at audiences as passive receivers of one-way conversations that push products and services on them. This two-day, highly interactive conference will address questions that enlightened business players are asking about social media, such as when and how to use its tools, and about social media integration — how to interact with customers, clients, partners, and employees who are already part of the social media world.

Photos show ListenShare's Stephanie Roberts and two cool dudes at the BlogHer Conference '06 in San Jose, California (theme: How Are Your Blogs Changing Your World?).

On the left, Guy Kawasaki, Managing Partner of Garage Technology.

You can listen to Steph's individual interviews of Guy; Arianna Huffington, Founder of the Huffington Post; and others during that conference.

And on the right, George Kelly — waaay too many hats, talents, and interests to list despite his claim, "I'm just a no-name reporter. I wish I had nothing 2 say."

BlogHer mission: to create a community resource and meeting place opportunities for women bloggers pursuing exposure, education, and community. BlogHer developed Business Conference 07 in response to the overwhelming popularity of the Business Blogging content tracks at its previous two sold-out BlogHer Conferences.

Tel Aviv Cinemateque Librarian

Since returning to Israel as a place to live, I have discovered wonderful ways to learn about my fellow Israelis and our shared history, cultural differences, and multifaceted profiles. Besides attending weekly classes at the Gordon ulpan center for the intensive study of Hebrew and participating in a Hebrew literature course, I spend hours monthly gazing through the wide lens of Israel's local documentary film repertory. I watch these creations in the Tel Aviv Cinemateque Library.

Librarian, Dror Izhar (no relation to writer, politician, and cultural icon S.Yizhar) has an encyclopedic mind finely honed by years of film viewing and studies in history, culture, film-making, literature, Greek philosophy, and art (B.A., Tel Aviv University). "My M.A. (Bar Ilan University) and Ph.D. (Ben Gurion University of the Negev) are more concrete," Izhar explains. "The M.A. is on African-Americans in Hollywood film and TV during the Cold War, and the Ph.D. is on the [East] Indian Patriot's image in British film and TV during the Cold War."

Izhar's passion for the medium fuels his scholarship:

I was always passionate about films. … Jerry Lewis, Danny Kaye, Jean Gabin, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Alan Delon, Toto, Vittorio Gassman, Marcello Mastroianni, Alberto Sordi, Nino Manfredi, Lino Ventura, Richard Roundtree, John Wayne, Sidney Poitier, and countless fantastic performers from Japan, China, Russia, Israel (Shai K. Ophir and Gila Almagor), French and Italian comedies, espionage and thrillers, crime movies.

How did Izhar discover film, and why did he decide to study it?

I was not popular and not a successful student. So I went to the movies with girls, without girls, with boys my age, and alone, in front of the TV. Physically I sensed elation. Only in sex did I get that elation, so you could say that sex and movies motivate me.Buster Keaton and Vittorio De Sica triggered my interest in pursuing the medium.

At Tel Aviv and Ben Gurion universities, I met two remarkable people: Professor Shlomo Sand and Professor Frank Stern. They knew more than I about European cinema while I knew more about the rest of film, so we were even.

And while Izhar insists, “I'm really not into lists: The idea smells of inventory and grocery lists,” he admits to —

... being into everything exciting, revealing, documenting societies, neo-realism, some new wave and some Hollywood genres, British films of a certain period (forties, late fifties, sixties-to-eighties, and nineties), and new Hollywood. Japanese films, Chinese, Indian, and Latino-American movies, some Iranian, an odd Turkish movie here, an Australian movie there, a Hollywood musical.

So, when I ask for guidance, he considers my interests carefully, thinks out loud while scanning his vast mental database, and scrawls in my notebook a list of must-see films. These lists are my curriculum that during the past three years has included —

• 5 Days /chamisha yamim
• Appelfeld’s Table / Ha-shulchan shel Aharon
• Arna's Children / Hayeladim shel Arna
• Altermania (Natan Alterman)
• Avot Yeshurun [directed by Amir Harel, who produced Paradise Now / Gan Eden Achshav]
• Eshbal
• Guide for the Perplexed / Moreh nevukheem
• Harmed Forces / Kohotenu lo shavu
• Hirbet Hiza
• Hot House / Bayit ham
• Mahmoud Darwish: The Land is the Language
• Number 17 Anonymous / Haharug ha-17
• Odessa... Odessa!
• Paper Dolls / Bubot Niyar
• Preliminaries / Mikdamot
• Shadya
• Souvenirs / Souveneerim
• Tali Fahima — Crossing the Lines / Chotza et hakaveem
• The Cemetery Club / Mo'adon beit ha'kvarot
• The Golden Cage / Kluv shel zahav
• The Journey of Vaan Nguyen / Hamasah shel Vann

So many movies. Such an exquisite Library. Such a remarkable Librarian. Who knew? Now you do.

Update | June 2009  Dror became Dr. Dror Izhar on earning a PhD in history from Ben Gurion University of the Negev. He is developing into a book, his dissertation, "The Indian Patriot Image in British Commercial Film and TV (1956-1986." To listen to Dr. Dror discuss his work, with illustrations, watch the video, Love-Hate: Brits and E. Indian Patriots (8:17 minutes).

Tel Aviv Cinemateque Library

As often as possible, I view Israeli produced, Hebrew language (sometimes mixed with Arabic, Russian, or Amharic) documentary films.

I need to do this because I am a newcomer to this ancient land where I was born yet left before learning it on the ground. Since connecting with my roots in this Levantine world where status quo and existence itself are never assumed, viewing documentaries has become a fast path to learning about my fellow Israelis.

So many movies. Through the wide lens of Israel's local documentary film repertory, I encounter myriad ideas, issues, projects, and people. So, I wend my way to the Tel Aviv Cinemateque Library.

Such an exquisite Library. I check my backpack outside the door, and enter the largest information center in Israel on Israeli and international film. Library assets include films (on videos and DVD), international and Israeli film journals and Hebrew language newspaper clippings, books, posters, and photos from publicists in Hollywood and Europe. Soon, the window on my viewer will open to cultures, traditions, conflicts, and dialogs revealing the mosaic of Israeli society.

Tel Aviv Cinemateque Librarian, Dror Yizhar, helps me to choose a film. Next, I pay the symbolic fee my Tel Aviv Cinemateque membership requires per Library viewing session — about $1.50, or 5 NIS [New Israeli Shekels], and settle into a private carrel equipped with a monitor, playback equipment, and earphones. Sitting among fellow Israelis and others for whom movie-viewing is clearly a serious pursuit and source of pleasure, I share the treasures with high school students, college and university grads, people looking for a thesis or dissertation topic, movie lovers, professors, lecturers — everyone. “You name it. If they're interested in movies, they're welcome,” quips Yizhar.

In this Library, I have —

• Watched works from a canon of masterpieces (Preliminaries / Mikdamot) to edgy new works (Hot House / Habithonim)
• Witnessed the little known dramas of Israel’s Vietnamese refugee community (The Journey of Vaan Nguyen / Hamasah shel Vann) and of a group of transsexual Filipino guest workers (Paper Dolls / Bubot Niyar)
• Listened to poetic voices of writers and educators on social and ethnic dilemmas of Israelis (Ethiopian immigrants — Eshbal, Russian immigrants — Odessa... Odessa!, Israeli Arabs — Shadya, Circassians — The Golden Cage / Kluv shel zahav, among others)
• Peered into the sometimes subtle, always profound complexities that war (Harmed Forces / Kohotenu lo shavu) and displacement (Hirbet Hiza) inflicts on individuals (Number 17 Anonymous / Haharug ha-17) and communities (5 Days /chamisha yamim).

About the Tel Aviv Cinemateque. Since 1973, the Tel Aviv Cinemateque has been this White City's (and beyond) address for viewing films of different genres. Classical works of the finest directors, contemporary mainstream artistic Israeli and international options, and a selection of experimental and avant-garde pieces, independent works, retrospectives, and premieres feed patrons’ tastes and fancies. Almost every month and season, offerings include festivals on special themes or countries and in different fields (for instance, animation), workshops, courses, and major events (DocAviv — the Tel Aviv International Documentary Film Festival, among the most highly sought-after and respected film festivals in the world— in March; Israeli Academy Awards in late summer; and a student film festival, as examples).

The Cinemateque is involved in social and political questions of Israeli society, and has screened films shunned by official or social censorship, especially concerning the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, foreign workers, and trafficking in sex. Sometimes, panels of artists, writers, journalists, actors, and others discuss films just viewed. Among cultural events happening inside or outside on the entrance square are comics festivals and political and social rallies. An optional membership allows free or deeply discounted admission to events.

Street: Sprinzak 2 (corner of HaArba'a)
Phone: 03. 606. 0800
www.cinema.co.il/ (Hebrew only)

My third act: Early scenes

Assuming that, like my mother, I would live a full three-act life, I considered carefully the form and content of the third-third of mine. As the curtain rose on act three, I was hoping to shape a dramatic work that would incorporate meaningful new experiences and establish a sense of belonging to a land I where I was born yet barely knew. And so I made aliya (ascension, in Hebrew) in late 2002 and launched my bihemispheral life, splitting the years into near-equal parts between Atlanta, Georgia, and Tel Aviv.

Priority: update and retool
I was on terra firma in the northeast United States (from Manhattan to Boston; Washington, DC; and Atlanta). Yet living in Israel after decades of merely vicarious experiences (a rich Jewish education, including Hebrew language study at home, in school, at summer camp) and short stints to the motherland required jump-starting assimilation into my new-old home. While my Hebrew was OK, it lacked fluency in the slang and neologisms coined since the Hebrew Bible was canonized! (Toothbrush, computer, WIFI, parking lot, as examples, do not appear in the Five Books of Moses, no matter how closely I studied source texts and commentaries!)

Curriculum (draft)
I aimed to improve my Hebrew immediately (next, learn Arabic) while steadily understanding better the social, historical, and political contexts of contemporary Israel and the cultural norms of my fellow Israelis. I wanted to explore how Herzl's dream, modern political Zionism — the international political movement that since the late 19th century has supported the ingathering of Jewish exiles to their ancestral homeland, had fared and morphed.

"Learning Hebrew grammar is like learning math," said Leah, my language teacher at the Gordon ulpan, a center for the intensive study of Hebrew. "And, if you're good at either subject, you’re on your way to conquering the other." Hmm. My perfect excuse to forget learning grammar.

I discovered that studying the Middle East rigorously is endlessly complex and, endless. And, similar to the search for truth, studying yields a mass of opinions and interpretations, each tinted with bias, subjectivity, and contradiction.

What is a late learner to do?
How would I identify the evolving issues and changing demographics over the decades? Where were the quick tips on “getting” the confusing manners and mores? And who wrote the manual on following increasingly complex political and security matters, not to mention instructions on navigating government bureaucracies (Ministry of Immigrant Absorption, for instance) and negotiating with national health services and banks, among other institutions?

Short answer: I couldn’t find all the answers (nor ask all the questions) in one act, not even three! I needed to cobble Plan B: A fast path to figuring out my new-old home. The plan would become a Who, What, Why, Where, When, and How of a detective thriller (in development).

A blessing and two not-so-secret ingredients

• The blessing: A community of Israeli family and friends that provides support, caring, and vital life-affirming adventures, and with whom I observe the Jewish calendar and witness life cycle events. This blessing enhances my life's meanings, sharpens my values, and informs my choices. And, it helps cushion routine bumps and blows of immigration.
  
  (To meet some players, visit Gila, Shimon, and Tova here; Noam and Aviah here; Noam; Daniel; Ohad and Aviah here; Ohad; Susanne; Shimon; my childhood friend; Miriam; and again, Ohad and Aviah.)


• Ingredient 1: Steadily attending weekly classes at ulpan and in a modern Israeli literature course (including doing homework and reading the assignments!).


• Ingredient 2: Regularly viewing documentary films in Hebrew at the Tel Aviv Cinemateque Library with the Librarian Dror's expert guidance. This lens on Israel's ancient multicultural history, its kaleidoscopic soul, and the passions that fuel it has been my key source of answers and more questions.
  

And, you say?
I am interested in your comments on points this post touches. If you have experience acclimating to bihemispheral living, expat living, overseas assignments, or even moving to another city or state in the same country — please share lessons you learned, tips, cheat sheets, how-to's, or handy hints on moving from surviving to thriving.

Ohad's timely email

From: ohad
Subject: hi
Date: February 5, 2007 3:03:26 AM EST
To: tamar

היי תמר,
מה שלומך?
איך הייתה הטיסה, אני מקווה שבסדר, כי זה בכל זאת, טיסה ארוכה.
המון אהבה ונשיקות!!!!!!!!!!!!!
מאוהד וכל המשפחה

[Hi Tamar,
How are you?
How was the flight? I hope OK because anyway, it is a long flight.
Loads of love and kisses!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From Ohad and all the family]

Jerusalem teen Ohad sent this email on my recent return to my "other" home, Atlanta, where I live when I am not in my "other" home, Israel. Other-shmother. Let's just say, my commutes between homes take longer than a short bus ride.

This bright, chipper, outgoing 13-year-old plays, studies, and works hard. He is also realistic, practical, and resilient in battling leukemia while living full tilt despite military incursions and existential threats that imperil him, his family, and our world.

When we meet (shown here at cousin Hillel's marriage to Natalie, in Jerusalem) or exchange email messages and speak on the phone, Ohad beams optimism. He is filled with high hopes and bursting with plans even when he shares openly the harshness of his treatments and subsequent periods of frailty and "time out."

Ohad's ideas and actions offer a healthy, sound alternative — and antidote — to the chaos, conflict, and hatred raging locally and globally. And I can believe my dreams for his generation to survive and flourish — in Israel, throughout the Middle East, and in the rest of this village we call the world.

Genesis 46:10 mentions Ohad as the third son of Simeon. The name means "will sympathize." Oh... Ohad, sympathizer and more, may you continue to go from strength to strength.

NOTE: Read more about Ohad and his family via my previous blog entries here, about Ohad's health crisis and what he says on his becoming bald temporarily, and here, when he became a Bar Mitzvah! Also, here, about Aviyah, his paratrooper brother, and here, where Daniel, his ninth grader brother, shares his powerful commentary on the Akedah (Binding of Isaac).

Israelis discussing Hebrew literature class

(left to right)

Elisheva, French-Canada born
me, Jerusalem born
Fabrice, Paris born
Sara, Bulgaria born

While Fabrice lives in Tel Aviv as I do, Elisheva and Sara live in Jaffa; Elisheva because it reminds her of Mexico where she lived many years, and Sara because her parents lived in this ancient port city when they "moved up" from a ma'abara, an Israeli transit camp during the 1950s.

In the photo, we are sitting on Ben Gurion Boulevard near the Gordon ulpan, a center for the intensive study of Hebrew. We are speaking Hebrew with a word or more of English or French tossed in to explain a term, an idea, or a book. The free-wheeling conversation started with Sami Michael's novel yonim b'trafalgar [Pigeons in Trafalgar] that we are studying now and then shifted to the teacher's political biases (all speculation, of course!) and ours, and from Ayn Rand (whom Sara had read as a teen living on a kibbutz), existentialism ("Why did the teacher lump Kafka with Sartre and Camus?"), communism and its [false] promises, Israel's police departments today and in earlier years, religion (flavors, traditions, distortions, impacts), and more.

The Warthog| חזיר היבלות| Das Warzenschwein: A trilingual poem

Meet Miriam Neumeier, my third guest blogger. "I am a 90-year-old mother to five, grandmother to seventeen, and great grandmother to 22," my friend writes. "For more than 67 years, I have lived in a small home in Petach Tikva [close to Tel Aviv]. I think I have a crazy streak somewhere. Why else would somebody like me write these crazy things? Maybe loneliness feeds the imagination."

Miriam shares more about herself below this, her poem in English, Hebrew, and German.

The Warthog

Beside the river on a stone
sits a warthog sad, depressed and alone.
He weeps in silence, does not cry.
I think you would know why.
He thinks, "So we had a row,
yet she should not have left me, the dirty sow.
Now she lives with a porcupine, the adulterous tart.
Does she not know that I love her with all my heart?"
She says, "I am fed up with warts, now I prefer bristles
when doing it; it is like falling in thistles."
Chacun a son gout!
C’est tout.
Beside the river on a stone
sits the warthog forlorn and alone.

חזיר היבלות
על סלע בודד בישימון
יושב חזיר יבלות בדיכאון.
בוכה חרש, הדמעות זולגות,
כי אשתו עזבה אותו לאנחות.
הלכה לגור עם דרבן.
לאן הגיע העולם, לאן?
את לבי שברת, חזירה נואפת, לרסיסים.
את לא יודעת שאני אוהב אותך לעולמים?
התבלבלה לך הפדחת.
חסר לך קוץ בתחת?
היא אומרת, נמאסו עלי היבלות,
בחיים צריך לפעמים לשנות,
עכשיו אני נהנת מהקוצים.
מי יודע מה יהיה בעוד כמה שנים.
וחזיר היבלות יושב בישימון
על סלע בודד בדיכאון.

Das Warzenschwein
Ein Warzenschwein
sitzt traurig und allein
am Wegrand auf einem Stein.
Es weinet stumm.
Ihr fragt warum?
Seine Frau,
die ungetreue Sau,
hat es verlassen.
Es kanns kaum fassen…
Jetzt hat sie es mit einem Stachelschwein.
Wer laesst sich schon mit sowas ein?
Sie sagt: die Warzen sind mir ueber,
Im Moment sind mir die Stacheln lieber.
Chacun a son gout,
C’est tout!
Und das Warzenschwein
sitzt traurig und allein
auf seinem Stein.

Miriam tells more.

"I was born in Germany during World War I. Growing up a Zionist [follower of the international political movement that supports the ingathering of Jewish exiles to their ancestral homeland], my goal was to come to Israel, then Palestine. I was like everyone: a good German citizen. I was planning to study medicine, thought my future was quite clear, and then came Hitler. After graduating from high school in 1934, two years later, I made aliya ["ascension"]. On arriving in Palestine, I worked on a kibbutz [Israeli collective intentional community] where I found my beloved, now deceased, husband. I served in the Haganah ["defense" — pre-State militia], which became the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) on May 15, 1948. When my youngest child entered grammar school, his mother resumed learning, too, and I became a tourist guide.

I am still learning. Because I now have a big hearing problem (two hearing aids, and still missing much), neither university study nor lectures are options. So I have developed a long-standing love affair with my computer that brings me parts of the world out of my reach. G-d bless the Internet!

I have no regrets. I lived more than 60 years with the only human being who was really my other half (maybe the better one). I have my big family, and G-d was good to me, leaving my brain intact and blessing me with above average health. Can you ask for more?"


NOTE: My second guest blogger, my ninth grader cousin Daniel Zohar, increased this blog's ratings with his popular post, Caught in the Thicket נאחז בסבך, a powerful commentary on the Akedah, or the Binding of Isaac. First guest blogger, Stefan, sends an urgent message "all over the world" on antisemitism in Austria.

Happy birthday, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Subject: Martin Luther King Day
Date: January 15, 2007 11:26:53 PM IST

Hi Tamar,

Today is Martin Luther King Day. I led a bike ride (pic attached) to Dr. King's tomb [in Atlanta, Georgia]; it was the 5th year we have done it. I even read the following King quotes.

I have moved to break the betrayal of my own silences and to speak from the burnings of my own heart. ... I knew I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today — my own government.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

More later. Got to go feed the goats before it rains. Love, Neil

Breaking the stigma of mental illness

"Just as the sun's warmth, nutrients in the soil, and regular watering produce healthy sunflowers, so do the warmth of family and friends and the nurturing of a supportive community produce people — including those with mental illness — who contribute to society."

So speaks my American childhood friend, the mother of a 38-year-old daughter diagnosed with schizophrenia more than twenty years ago, and, more recently, with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

It has been said that you can’t make old friends. One of my chief delights in bihemispheral living has been rediscovering decades later, in Israel, my childhood friend. During high school, we studied together at the Herzliah Hebrew Teachers Institute (merged with the Division of Judaic Studies, Touro College, NY). On our graduation from City College of New York, she moved to Israel, and I to Cambridge, Massachusetts, each to marry and pursue postgraduate education and careers, and she to raise her children.

In 2002, when I launched my journey of connecting with my roots, spending part of each year in the USA and part in Israel, I found my childhood friend! We eagerly shared life stories since we last met. And while we revealed more each successive meeting, she was guarded when describing her children.

Months later she allowed that one child had health problems. Several more months had passed when she added that the child had mental health issues. Gradually (I never asked or pried, just listened carefully), she told of her firstborn who by age 18 was an excellent student, a fashion-conscious teen with motivation, plans, and joy in life. And then, suddenly, their world seemed to collapse. Her child began to show a series of unexplained behavioral anomalies, severe anxieties, and depressions, and the family launched a terrifying frantic scrambling for diagnoses, treatments, and specialists.

And then came the shame. . . and the guilt, anger, and self pity, and feeling cheated and distraught by having to give up dreams and expectations. All these responses accompanied her need to cope with the stigma of mental illness. Even today, after 18 years of her child's and the family's rehabilitation, mentoring, struggles, and active involvement in Enosh (the Israel Mental Health Association), my childhood friend didn't have to ask (though she did) that I respect her and her family's anonymity in this post.

Recently, my friend invited me to an Enosh-sponsored event in Tel Aviv. Israeli television personality Tzofit Grant introduced the evening in a dialogue with her brother, Amiram, who fell ill with schizophrenia 15 years ago at age 32. Tzofit explained that while she was at Amiram's side during periods that he stopped eating and announced that he was the Messiah, to the world she lied, "He is hospitalized on account of an auto accident." Tzofit shared that ten years passed before she "came out of the closet" and began to address the stigma.

A determined mood filled the meeting space where more than 200 people gathered, often shouting support for speakers' calls to —

• Break open the secret, come out of the closet of shame.
• Break down the prejudices and the fears in society.
• Provide these folks, the consumers — warmth, support, and rehabilitation.

Stigmas have no place in the modern world. My friend challenges us to "Eliminate the stigma so that these folks can move beyond the illness, develop the healthy parts of their personalities, and make positive contributions to society."

Israeli medical doctor

Victoria Zaharov, M.D.,
internal medicine specialist
in one of her three Tel Aviv offices

My 2007 resolution is to promote shamelessly the outstanding service providers with whom I engage in Israel. In this, my first post in the new series, I bring you "Dr. Vicky," as she invites patients to call her. If ever a photo speaks volumes, I direct your attention to her smile, the flowers and candles, the stylish attire and coordinating jewelry, the cleavage. What my camera missed is the bowl of candies on her desk and the art on the walls.

Dr. Vicky, whose medical education began in the former Soviet Union and was followed by an internship and a residency in Israel, works for two of Israel's national health insurance organizations. Her waiting rooms are filled with speakers of Russian, Hebrew, English, Swedish, and nearly every other language spoken in this polyglot nation. Yet when my scheduled turn comes and she replies "Kanes" [enter] to my knock on her office door, her wide smile and warm "Ahhh, Shalom, Tamar" tell me that I am her sole focus and concern, and that she is happy to see me.

Yet Dr. Vicky is not all smiles, incense, and cleavage. In my letter (in Hebrew, shown at the end of this post) to the medical director of the Tel Aviv headquarters of the health organization I belong to, I noted that "Dr. Zaharov is ... consistently professional, pleasant, industrious, patient, intuitive, gentle, helpful, and attentive. She listens carefully and answers questions and gives instructions in clear and simple language. ..." I asked the director to forward my letter to Dr. Vicky, who then emailed me —

HI Tamar!!

Thank you very much! [...] Moshe sent me you letter. [...] Thank you! It was so pleasure to read your letter. I"ll be glad to assist you in future. just targishi tov [feel good].

Dr. Vicky Zaharov

For her wonderful help and kind heart, I celebrate my doctor.

And, dear reader, in the comments section below, please share your experiences of outstanding service providers in Israel and anywhere else!

הנדון ד"ר ויקי זכרוב

מאז חודש פברואר 2005, ד"ר ויקי זכרוב משמשת כרופאתי. מצאתי בה מקצוענית בעליל, נעימת הליכות אישיות ובעלת תושיה המיטיבה לנצל משאבים. ד"ר ויקי הנה ידידותית תמיד, סבלנית, חדת תפישה, עדינה, עוזרת ואוזן קשבת. ד"ר זכרוב מאזינה בקפידה, עונה לשאלות ומוסרת הוראות ומידע בשפה ברורה ובלתי-אמצעית.

נא להכיר בד"ר זכרוב בזכות שרותה יוצא הדופן וציינו באמצעות העתק מכתבי בתיקה האישי.

בברכת תודה,
תמר אורבל

Christmas "pearls" from my Christian friends

Santa and Unicorn (cloth painting, tied to a balcony)
in Wadi Nisnas, Haifa, Israel

Jean's message

Tamar . . . May we all bring peace to our hearts and to our worlds. This year we [the Bridgeview School in Cape Cod, Massachusetts] gave each member of the staff a “peace” bracelet with the word imprinted on it in seven different languages. And as always, to remember that it starts within.

Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! All celebrations of life and vigor and weakness and being given what we need. Love to you, and thank you for the love you send.
— Jean [Christmas 2005]

Stephanie's message
Approaching Christmas 2006, in her engaging blog post, Finding Baby Jesus, Stephanie invited readers to “. . . make it a priority to seek out the baby Jesus.”

Stephanie piqued my curiosity, prompting me to ask —

Please share some of the process of that seeking out, and how you have come to understand baby Jesus. I imagine that elements of your response might offer to someone who is Jewish, me, the wisdom of your tradition.

Stephanie's reply —

Tamar - One of the things I like most about you is your sincere desire to dig deep and understand the values and thoughts of others. This will be a fascinating voice conversation, but for now . . .

Christmas and Easter are the two holiest days of the year for a Christian. Christmas marks the birth of Jesus Christ, God's only son and our savior. In the Bible, Matthew 1:23, it says "The virgin shall be with child and give birth to a son and they shall call him Emmanuel," a name which means "God is with us." This miraculous birth is the true reason for celebrating Christmas.

But, the meaning of Christmas has been expanded, twisted and turned to a point where many Christians, myself included, have often lost sight of what's important. Sure it's a joyous annual tradition to decorate a Christmas tree, attend holiday gatherings, purchase gifts for loved ones, write letters to Santa, drink eggnog, spray fake snow (OK, I won't go there) . . . and I truly LOVE this stuff. But without the birth of Christ and our ongoing pursuit to nurture our relationship with Him through prayer and actions, the annual traditions are meaningless.

What do I do to seek Him out? It's an ongoing journey for me, not just this time of year, but each day. I often get too caught up the day-to-day of life, but I have identified a few simple activities to help me keep Jesus in sight on my path.

1. I made the decision to attend church regularly so I don’t have to decide if I want to go each Sunday morning. I go even if I don’t feel like going and I always leave with a good feeling.
2. I put a bible beside my bed. Just seeing it there each day when I wake up and go to bed reminds me about what’s most important… my relationship with Jesus and the significance of my physical presence in this world to serve Him. When I pick it up, I flip around, land randomly and typically end up reading more than I intended.
3. I read a great children's Bible, “The Rhyme Bible Storybook” by Linda Sattgast, to my children before bed. Simple stories. Great characters. Loads of action . . . from surviving a great flood to defeating a giant to walking on water. It's fun to read rhymes and it's a handy cheat sheet for understanding the big people's version.
4. I pray everyday. I used to think my nanny was kooky for saying "Thank you, Jesus" at random points throughout the day. Now I do it, though not out loud. It’s comforting to know Jesus is with me throughout the day, so I try to keep him entertained and appreciated.

P.S. More often than not, He seeks me out when I’m doing something other than the activities listed above. I’m thankful for that.

Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

All celebrations of life and vigor and weakness.

— Jean Rice (1946-2006)

Christmas Day service at Immanuel Church in Jaffa, Israel

Ohad is Bar Mitzvah!

OHAD!
This is it —
The big day
has come...
Tons and tons of
Mazal tov!!

We love you...
The Zamzamiot ———>
Eliana, Orit, Mevasseret, Inbal,
Adi, Racheli, Neta, Chanah-Gila

With this giant poster, cards, and multicolored ribbons and balloons, the Zamzamiot (B’not Sherut Leumi [National Service Girls] volunteers at Zichron Menachem) decorated Ohad's bedroom as a surprise two days before he was a Bar Mitzva.

Ohad and the Zamzamiot have become great friends since meeting at the internationally recognized prize-winning organization that has been supporting kids with cancer and their families in Israel since 1990.

For many months, Ohad had been preparing for his Bar Mitzva – studying the Torah portion and Haftara he would chant, and learning the texts' meanings and messages in the life of the Jewish people and in his own life. And, as noted in my previous blog entry, Ohad had also been learning about the leukemia he has been fighting and its meanings and messages in his life.

“Life experiences shape us,” Ohad opined to me recently. “When I meet children as young as age four in the hospital, I have great compassion for them because they don't understand why they must get treatments and take medicines they don't like. OK, I am young, too, though I understand, and it helps.”

Last Shabbat, on a crisp sunny morning in Pisgat Zeev, a Jewish settlement in East Jerusalem, Pa'atei Mizrach synagogue was bursting with Ohad's adoring parents, siblings, grandparents, other family, friends, teachers, and neighbors. When the Torah was removed from the Ark, and brought to the podium, in a sweet, strong voice Ohad recited the blessings and chanted, section by section, the portions.

First, from the Torah —

א וַיֵּשֶׁב יַעֲקֹב, בְּאֶרֶץ מְגוּרֵי אָבִיו--בְּאֶרֶץ, כְּנָעַן. ב אֵלֶּה תֹּלְדוֹת יַעֲקֹב, יוֹסֵף בֶּן-שְׁבַע-עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה הָיָה רֹעֶה אֶת-אֶחָיו בַּצֹּאן, וְהוּא נַעַר אֶת-בְּנֵי בִלְהָה וְאֶת-בְּנֵי זִלְפָּה, נְשֵׁי אָבִיו; וַיָּבֵא יוֹסֵף אֶת-דִּבָּתָם רָעָה, אֶל-אֲבִיהֶם. ג וְיִשְׂרָאֵל, אָהַב אֶת-יוֹסֵף מִכָּל-בָּנָיו--כִּי-בֶן-זְקֻנִים הוּא, לוֹ; וְעָשָׂה לוֹ, כְּתֹנֶת פַּסִּים. ד וַיִּרְאוּ אֶחָיו, כִּי-אֹתוֹ אָהַב אֲבִיהֶם מִכָּל-אֶחָיו--וַיִּשְׂנְאוּ, אֹתוֹ; וְלֹא יָכְלוּ, דַּבְּרוֹ לְשָׁלֹם. ה וַיַּחֲלֹם יוֹסֵף חֲלוֹם, וַיַּגֵּד לְאֶחָיו; וַיּוֹסִפוּ עוֹד, שְׂנֹא אֹתוֹ. ו וַיֹּאמֶר, אֲלֵיהֶם: שִׁמְעוּ-נָא, הַחֲלוֹם הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר חָלָמְתִּי. ... — בראשית פרק לז

Meanwhile, Jacob settled in the area where his father had lived in the land of Canaan.
These are the chronicles of Jacob:
Joseph was 17 years old. As a lad, he would tend the sheep with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. Joseph brought his father a bad report about them.
Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, since he was the child of his old age. He made [Joseph] a long colorful coat.
When his brothers realized that their father loved him more than all the rest, they began to hate him. They could not say a peaceful word to him.
Then Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.
Listen to the dream I had, he said to them. — Genesis 37-44:17

And then from the Haftara —

רָנִּי וְשִׂמְחִי, בַּת-צִיּוֹן--כִּי הִנְנִי-בָא וְשָׁכַנְתִּי בְתוֹכֵךְ, נְאֻם-יְהוָה. ... וַיַּעַן וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלַי, לֵאמֹר, זֶה דְּבַר-יְהוָה, אֶל-זְרֻבָּבֶל לֵאמֹר: לֹא בְחַיִל, וְלֹא בְכֹחַ--כִּי אִם-בְּרוּחִי, אָמַר יְהוָה צְבָאוֹת. — זכריה פרק ב

Shout for joy, Fair Zion! For lo, I come; and I will dwell in your midst, declares the LORD. ... This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, said the LORD of hosts. — Zechariah 2:14-4:7

We fool ourselves into thinking we know the future when we don't; into thinking that what appears true today will appear true tomorrow. Life holds much mystery. Meanwhile, we celebrate and we love.

With my first havruta, still learning after all these years

From Shimon, a handmade card and an aloe-vera-olive-oil-infused gift set

Today, I rode Bus 70 from Tel Aviv to Givat Shmuel where my friend Shimon crams eating and sleeping into his life; he is a doctoral student in psychology at Bar Ilan University. "I am fulfilling all the requirements of my department while adding my own curriculum in my major and beyond," explains my havruta, learning partner since 1999 when we met in the Atlanta Torah MiTzion program.

Visiting with Shimon is a gift of precious time with inestimable value. Though we are separated in age by decades, have widely different life experiences, and usually hold opposing religious beliefs and practices, our friendship celebrates the differences. We laugh much while trading ideas and references, from book titles to podcast subscriptions, and from updates on mutual friends and the upsides and downsides of living in two nations, Israel and the USA.

"Read Saʻarat nefesh [Burning Soul] by Yoram Yovel, one of my professors," Shimon replies to a question on mental illness and therapies in Israel. "Download a podcast of Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg from the Speaking of Faith and Values" podcast channel, I instruct him as our free-wheeling discussion veers toward narratives, storytelling, and blogs. Before I catch the last bus to Tel Aviv (today is Friday, and Shabbat begins at sunset), we cram in a session on his laptop where I subscribe him to this podcast channel for a free downloadable weekly radio program featuring conversations with theologians, scientists, ethicists, and other thoughtful voices on religion, meaning, ethics, and ideas.

Imagine my astonished delight while snacking on Shimon's treat — a chocolate-chip sweet, herbal tea (for him), and cappuccino (for me) in the lobby cafe of a residential skyscraper, when he drew from his briefcase two surprises — a handmade card and an aloe-vera-olive-oil-infused gift set! The card, a photo taken four years ago when we toured Nobel Prize winner Shmuel Yosef Agnon's Jerusalem home, shows Shimon and me gazing at the glass-encased 1966 Prize in Literature gold medal and diploma. The back of the photo reads, as follows:

בס"ד [Aramaic abbreviation for "with Heaven's help"]

Tamar,
It has been almost 7 years since I first met you. Oh, and
it's also your birthday...
I guess we both deserve congratulations...
Happy birthday!
Shimon

Thank you, dear Shimon: havruta, guide, humorist, role model, friend, teacher, comforter. May you continue going from strength to strength.

Related post
Wrestling with texts and observing shoes

Happy birthday to me!

A hand-painted card — tucked into an envelope and addressed in English and in Hebrew – arrived in my Tel Aviv mailbox minutes before my birthday. "May this year bring only joy and radiant being," penned Susanne, classy woman, talented painter, and two-time Tel Aviv roommate extraordinaire!

Thank you, Susanne, for your gifts, and thank you, everyone who has helped make this past year joyous and radiant for me. Together, you have been providing the yeast to help me raise, sustain, and spread joy and radiance in both democracies where I am privileged to vote!

And in both democracies, and elsewhere on the planet, where insanity reigns relentlessly as governments and citizens often brutalize the least among us, my birthday wish is for all beings peace and justice.

Peace, because I believe, as my hero Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools." Justice, because, as my hero cautioned, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

When a child starts to go bald כשילד מתחיל להקריח

My heros: Ohad, Daniel, and Avia
גיבורי: אוהד, דניאל, אביה

התרגום לעברית מופיע מייד אחרי הקטע באנגלית. המון תודות לשלמה פרוינד ומרים נוימאיר על התרגום. שלמה ומרים הם עוד שניים מהגיבורים שלי

A corridor to paradise. Last week, I took the bus from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem to meet my cousin's youngest son, Ohad, at one of the corridors to paradise: Zichron Menachem. Here, this almost Bar-Mitzvah-age guitar-playing Internet power user, avid reader, and karate student finds comfort, relief, and distraction from the diagnostic and therapeutic treatments he gets at Hadassah Medical Center. For Zichron Menachem is an internationally recognized prize-winning organization that has been supporting kids with cancer and their families in Israel since 1990. Support is free of charge to this special population, without discrimination to religion, ethnic origin, or socioeconomic status.

"I will become bald from my treatments," Ohad announced. "And I don't plan on wearing a wig. I want to show people that I am fighting my disease." "Do you plan on wearing a cap?" I wondered, noting the grayish skies and dropping temperatures in the nation's capital city. "Yes, and only when it gets cold," his quick reply.

In this state-of-the-art outpatient facility, the hours passed quickly for Ohad and his personal cheerleading team that afternoon:

• His dad
• Brothers Daniel and Avia
• His mother's cousin (that would be me)
• A twenty-something trilingual yeshiva student/volunteer who played a mean game of billiards with Avia
• The 13-year-old brother of another patient
• A passel of B’not Sherut Leumi (National Service Girls). These part angel-part human participants in a government-mandated alternative to military service spread nonstop cheer, laughter, and snacks; read stories out loud; engage in play and conversation; help with homework assignments; and cuddle, carry, and soothe anxious, weary, or physically uncomfortable guests.

Avia, a paratrooper whose army service to date has included participating in the 2005 Disengagement Plan and the 2006 Second Lebanon War, is facing, perhaps, one of the greatest challenges of his life: When the medical staff made Ohad's diagnosis, Avia asked the army for one month's leave to be present for his youngest brother 24/7. True to his signature modest-yet-effective style, Avia is Ohad's soft-spoken support, aide, companion, driver, and advocate, and a right arm of their parents, whose jobs keep them from round-the-clock coverage of Ohad, and whose siblings are either fulltime students or workers.

Blessings and prayers. A precious child has been diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). He has a large, loving family and a dedicated medical team providing top-flight, affordable national health care. Add the huge amounts of caring and affection he exchanges with classmates, teachers, Bnei Akiva youth and leaders, and others, and the support of organizations such as Zichron Menachem, and Ohad's quality of life spells excellent. May every child and adult fighting disease worldwide be granted these blessings.

The whole world is a very narrow bridge;
the main thing is not to be afraid.
— Rabbi Nachman of Breslov

NOTE: Since I published this post, Ohad became a bar mitzvah and the Zichron Menachem Zamzamiot (B’not Sherut Leumi volunteers) surprised him by decorating his bedroom two days before!

° ° °

גן עדן עלי אדמות. בשבוע שעבר,נסעתי באוטובוס מתל- אביב לירושלים לפגוש את אוהד, בנה הצעיר של בת דודתי, במקום שהוא גן עדן עלי אדמות: זיכרון מנחם. כאן, הילד הזה שעוד מעט יהיה בר מצווה, מנגן בגיטרה, אשף אינטרנט, קורא נלהב וגם מתאמן בקראטה מוצא נחמה, הקלה והסח הדעת מהאיבחונים והטיפולים שהוא מקבל במרכז הרפואי הדסה. כי זיכרון מנחם הוא ארגון מוכר ברמה בינלאומית, בעל פרסים רבים אשר תומך בילדים הסובלים ממחלת הסרטן ומשפחותיהם בישראל מאז 1990. התמיכה היא ללא תשלום לאוכלוסיה מיוחדת זו, ללא אפליה על רקע דתי, אתני או מצב סוציואקונומי.

אקריח מהטיפולים שלי," הודיע אוהד. "ואני לא מתכוון לשים פאה. אני רוצה להראות לאנשים שאני נלחם במחלה שלי." "האם אתה מתכונן ללבוש כובע?" תהיתי, לנוכח השמיים המאפירים והטמפרטורות הצונחות בעיר בירת ישראל. "כן, אבל רק כאשר יהיה קר," הייתה תשובתו המידית.

כאן, במרפאת החוץ העדכנית הזאת עברו השעות במהירות לאוהד ולקבוצת המעודדים האישית שלו באותו אחר הצהרים:

...אביו
...אחיו דניאל ואביה
...בת דודה של אמו: זאת אני
...בן ישיבה/מתנדב בן עשרים ומשהו הדובר שלוש שפות ששיחק
משחק סנוקר מרשים עם אביה
...אחיו בן ה-13 של חולה אחר
...קבוצת בנות שירות לאומי. בחורות אלו מלאכיות-בנות-אדם מפיצות אינסופית שמחה,
צחוק וחטיפים; מקריאות סיפורים; משחקות
ומשוחחות; מסייעות בשיעורי בית; מחבקות, נושאות ומרגיעות אורחים בחרדה, תשושים או אלה שמרגישים אינוחות גופנית.

אביה, צנחן ששירותו הצבאי עד עכשיו כלל השתתפות בתוכנית ההתנתקות ומלחמת לבנון השנייה, מתמודד, כנראה, עם אחד האתגרים הגדולים ביותר בחייו: כאשר הצוות הרפואי אבחן את מחלתו של אוהד, ביקש אביה חופשה לחודש ימים כדי להיות זמין עשרים וארבע שעות ביממה בשביל אחיו הצעיר ביותר. נאמן לסגנונו האופיני הצנוע אך יעיל, אביה ברוך לשונו הוא התומך, העוזר, החבר, הנהג והסניגור, ויד ימנית להוריו שעבודתם מונעת מהם לשהות סביב השעון ליד אוהד כשאחיו או לומדים או עובדים במשרות מלאות.

.acute lymphocytic leukemia ילד יקר אובחן כסובל מ-
יש לו משפחה גדולה, אוהבת וצוות רפואי מסור הנותן טיפול ברמה הגבוהה ביותר שביטוח בריאות יכול להעניק. תוסיפו את הכמויות העצומות של תשומת לב והחיבה שהוא מקבל ומקרין חזרה לחבריו לכתה, מורים, חברים ומדריכים מתנועת בני עקיבא ואחרים, ותמיכתם של ארגונים כמו זיכרון מנחם, אז איכות החיים של אוהד נהדרת. מי יתן וכל ילד ומבוגר הנלחמים במחלות ברחבי העולם יזכו לברכות אלו.

כל העולם כולו גשר צר מאוד;
והעיקר לא לפחד כלל.
רבי נחמן מברסלב —

Caught in the Thicket נאחז בסבך

Daniel Zohar, דניאל זוהר, 14

NOTE: Meet guest blogger, Daniel Zohar, a ninth grader at Himmelfarb Boys’ High School in Jerusalem. My fascinating and loving second cousin with wide-ranging talents and a knockout smile is passionate about three subjects — music, art, and literature. On my recent visit with his family last Shabbat and Simchat Torah, Daniel and I read and discussed his powerful commentary on the Akedah, the Binding of Isaac. This dramatic story, central to Jewish liturgy and thought, has challenged generations of commentators. Me: "Was the commentary a school assignment or a contest submission?" Daniel: "I was simply moved to write it." Hebrew readers can follow Daniel's graceful style following my English translation.

With Heaven's help
Rosh Hashana eve 5767

There is nothing new under the sun, murmured a bored ram, and yawned. The world burdened him, and he lay down under its enormous weight. The ram was an especially bitter creature, a depressed type, a pessimist. Almost everything he said was harsh; even his motto, which he often repeated, was from Ecclesiastes, his lifelong inspiration.

He lived in a small cave at the edge of a mountain. (He thought it was called Mount Moriah — yet what difference did it make? All names were alike.) The ram was the oldest of his kind in that desolate dry area. No one liked him especially, even the few who knew him. (It isn't pleasant to host friends for whom Ecclesiastes is a "light" of his life.)

Humans hunted rams, which didn't bother him. On the contrary, he even regretted that he hadn't died in a hunting expedition. So, too, he thought, What point does this miserable life have? To rise in the morning, graze in a meadow, rest a bit, and again sleep? Really . . .

That morning was bright, the sun shone, and . . . wait a minute. The sun shines every day; why mention it? Yet something was different. Two small rabbits reached the entrance of our acquaintance's cave. They came to announce that the elderly wise one — the fox — was on his deathbed. Whoever wants to hear his last words must reach a bald spot in the forest, about six miles away, they said. Hurry, it appears to be his last hour.

Oh well, growled the old ram, and lazily started toward the destination (not before preparing a sandwich for the journey). Within an hour, he noticed a gathering from where he heard soft rustling sounds. As he drew near, he saw many creatures drinking thirstily these last words of the fox.

In a strange plant, one will find what one has sought. His journey will be difficult, and if he reaches his destination, he will find in the plant a flower that will reveal the meaning of life (which I didn't merit obtaining) . . . A tear glistened on the dying creature's face, and fell on the soft grass. I just want to say . . .

A series of groans and coughs followed, and then silence. Before the fox finished the last sentence, the most important one, he expired. A courageous little mouse challenged the ram: Tell me, what did you conclude from the old one's speech? The ram: He liked repeating the word, happiness. Later, when the rabbits returned and asked, Did you understand what the fox said? the ram answered, No, I came late.

Ah, they replied. Listen. A flower on an unknown mountain will reveal to the one who finds it the meaning of life. The flower is supposed to rescue him from the depths of endless despair. Apparently the fox wanted to point out a problem about this quest yet didn't manage . . . poor thing.

The ram decided to find the wondrous flower. On his way, he passed an elderly woman who asked, What do you seek? His reply: The magic flower. She: Oy, another unfortunate one. He: Excuse me? She: Nothing. Go to a mountain, Moriah by name, and at its peak you'll find what you seek. As he turned to go, she said, That flower is inside a giant thorny thicket, and whoever cuts through it cannot reach its center without losing his head, hands, and legs . . . He interrupted: I think I understand. What a fool I am, I live next to that mountain!

The ram returned home, rested, and began to climb the mountain. The journey was tiring — steep and hard to pass. Yet he decided to reach higher and, gathering his strength, succeeded to reach the thicket. A little dazed, he saw the flower glowing in its center. While he ran toward the fulfillment of his dreams he became entangled in the thicket, and his horns were caught. He couldn't move part of his body. Does anyone hear me? he called. No reply. Nu, whatever, I'll die of starvation.

And it happened after these things that God tested Abraham. And He said to him, 'Abraham!' and he said, 'Here I am.' And He said, 'Take, pray, your son, your only one, whom you love, Isaac, and go forth to the land of Moriah and offer him up as a burnt offering on one of the mountains which I shall say to you.' And Abraham took the wood for the offering and put it on Isaac his son and he took in his hand the fire and the cleaver, and the two of them went together. And Isaac said to Abraham his father, 'Father!' and he said, 'Here I am, my son.' And he said, 'Here is the fire and the wood but where is the sheep for the offering?' And Abraham said, 'God will see to the sheep for the offering, my son.' And the two of them went together. And they came to the place that God had said to him, and Abraham built there an altar on top of the wood. And Abraham reached out his hand and took the cleaver to slaughter his son. And the Lord's messenger called out to him from the heavens and said, 'Abraham, Abraham!' and he said, 'Here I am.' And he said, 'Do not reach out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him, for now I know that you fear God and you have not held back you son, your only one, from Me.' And Abraham raised his eyes and saw and, look, a ram was caught in the thicket by its horns, and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up as a burnt offering instead of his son. And Abraham called the name of that place YHWH-Yireh, as it is said to this day, 'On the mount of the Lord there is sight.' And the Lord's messenger called out to Abraham once again from the heavens, and He said, 'By My own Self I swear, declares the Lord, that because you have done this thing and have not held back your son, your only one, I will greatly bless you and will greatly multiply your seed . . . ' (Genesis 22:1-17; translation from Robert Alter's The Five Books of Moses: A Translation with Commentary)

Seconds before the ram breathed his last breath and was slaughtered, he understood that he found the light and the meaning of life. And here are some of the essentials: Joy, love, faith, hope, peace — the flowers in our lives, the light that reveals life's meaning. Blessed am I to have died in the presence of a righteous person in awe of the heavens, Abraham our ancestor, the faithful one. There is something new under the sun, he murmured, and expired.

* * *

בס"ד, ערב ראש השנה ה'תשס"ז

"אין חדש תחת השמש", מלמל בשעמום איל ופיהק. נדמה כאילו העולם מהווה עליו מעמסה והוא רובץ תחת משקלו העצום. אותו טיפוס היה יצור ממורמר ביותר, בעל אופי דכאוני ביותר. הפאסימיות הייתה חלק משגרת חייו. כמעט כל האמרות שלו, השנונות משהו, ואף המוטו שלו שבו השתמש לעיתים קרובות, היו לקוחים מספר קהלת (שהיווה השראה לאורח חייו).

הוא שכן במערה קטנה בירכתי הר אחד (נדמה לו שהר המורייה קוראים לו- אבל מה זה משנה, הרי כל השמות דומים) אותו איל היה הזקן ביותר באותו אזור שומם ויבש. אף אחד לא חיבב אותו במיוחד, אפילו מהמעט שהכירו אותו. לא נעים לארח חברה לאחד שספר קהלת הוא "אור" לחייו וחלק בלתי נפרד ממנו.

בני האדם היו צדים הרבה מהאילים שבסביבה, מה שלא הפריע לו במיוחד. אדרבה, אפילו הצטער שלא מת באיזשהו מסע ציד כזה, גם ככה איזה טעם יש לחייו העלובים? לקום בבוקר, ללחך עשב באחו, לנוח קצת ושוב לישון. נו באמת...

אותו בוקר היה בהיר מאוד, השמש זרחה, ו... רגע. השמש זורחת כל יום, מדוע לציין זאת? אבל באותו יום היה משהו שונה. כבר בשעות הבוקר המוקדמות הגיעו לפתח מערתו של מיודענו הזקן שני ארנבים קטנים, שליחים, ובפיהם טענה שהזקן והחכם בחיות- הוא השועל הבא בימים- שוכב על ערש דווי. כל מי שרוצה לשמוע דברי חכמה אחרונים לפני מותו צריך להגיע לקרחת היער שבמרחק שלושה קילומטרים משם. "יש להזדרז", אמרו הארנבים. "כנראה שזוהי שעתו האחרונה". " נו מילא", נהם הזקן, והחל ללכת בעצלות לכיוון המיועד (לא לפני שהכין לעצמו סנדוויץ', צידה לדרך). כעבור שעה קלה, שם לב להתגודדות במקום מסויים ומשם רחשים קטנים ושקטים. הוא התקרב, וראה סוגים רבים של בעלי חיים, כולם שותים בצמא את דבריו האחרונים של הישיש. האיל הזקן התקרב, וזה מה ששמע:

"בשיח מוזר, שם ימצא את אשר ציפה לו... (מלמול חרישי לא מובן). בר המזל תקשה עליו הדרך... ואם וכאשר יגע למחוז חפצו, שם ימצא את אותו פרח... פרח אשר יגלה לו את משמעות החיים, אשר לא זכיתי להגיע אליו... (על פניו של הגוסס התנוצצה דמעה ונשרה על העשב הרך). אני רק רוצה לומר דבר קטן, אשר...

נשמעה סדרה של גניחות והשתעלויות ואז דממה. השועל לא הספיק לסיים את המשפט האחרון, והחשוב ביותר, וגווע לעיני הקהל שנאסף סביבו. עכבר קטן אזר אומץ ופנה אל האיל: "הגד לי, מה הסקת מנאומו של הזקן"? האיל ענה: "שאהב את המילה אשר, שכן אמרה פעמים רבות". הוא הסתכל עליו בנימה לגלגנית, והעכברון הסמיק והלך משם. שני הארנבים שבאו להודיע על הנאום חזרו אליו. "האם הבנת מה אמר השועל"? "לא", ענה. "הגעתי באיחור". "אה"... ענו לו. "אז ככה: ישנו פרח אחד, בהר לא ידוע, ואותו פרח יגלה למוצאו את משמעות החיים. בכך הוא אמור להציל אותו מהתהום והייאוש האינסופיים. אבל כנראה שהייתה בעייה שרצה לציין, ולא הספיק, המסכן"...

גמלה בליבו ההחלטה, והוא החליט לחפש את אותו פרח מופלא. בדרכו אל הלא- נודע עבר דרך כפר של בני אדם. זקנה אחת, תושבת אותו הכפר, שאלה אותו לרצונו. הוא ענה לה שאת הפרח הקסום הוא מבקש. "אווו"... לחשה. "עוד מסכן אחד"... "סליחה"? שאל. "לא כלום. לך להר אחד, המורייה שמו, ובפסגתו תמצא את מבוקשך". כבר פנה ללכת, כשלפתע: "אבל"... אמרה, "אותו פרח נמצא בתוך שיח קוצני ענק, שאין באפשרותו של החוצה אותו מגיע למרכזו בלי שיאבד בדרך את ראשו, ידיו, רגליו... "אני חושב שהבנתי", הפסיק אותה. בלכתו חשב: 'טיפש שכמותי, הרי אני גר בסמוך לאותו הר'!

כעבור שלוש שעות חזר למעונו.הוא נח מעט והחל להעפיל ולטפס על ההר במטרה להגיע לפסגתו. הדרך הייתה מייגעת, אך לא אינסופית. הסוף לא היה מתון כמו בהתחלה, הוא היה תלול ביותר וקשה למעבר. אבל האיל גמר אומר בליבו להגיע למעלה. הוא עשה מאמץ אחרון ואסף את כל כוחותיו, והצליח. הוא הגיע באפיסת כוחות, מטושטש מעט, וראה את אותו שיח במרכזו זהר הפרח המדהים. הוא רץ בחמת טירוף לכיוון הגשמת כל משאלותיו, אך הסתבך בסבך העצום בגודלו וקרניו נתפשו בו. שוב לא יכול היה להזיז חלק בגופו. "מישהו שומע אותי"? קרא. אין תשובה. "נו מילא, נמות ברעב"...

ויהי אחר הדברים האלה, והאלוקים ניסה את אברהם. ויאמר אליו: אברהם! ויאמר: הנני. ויאמר: קח- נא את בנך את יחידך אשר אהבת, את יצחק, ולך לך אל ארץ המורייה, והעלהו שם לעלה על אחד ההרים אשר אומר אליך. וישכם אברהם בבוקר, ויחבוש את חמורו, ויקח את שני נעריו איתו ואת יצחק בנו. ויבקע עצי עלה, וילך אל המקום אשר אמר- לו האלוקים. ביום השלישי, וישא אברהם את עיניו, וירא את המקום מרחוק. ויאמר אברהם אל נעריו: שבו לכם פה עם החמור, ואני והנער נלכה עד כה ונשתחווה ונשובה אליכם. ויקח אברהם את עצי העלה, וישם על יצחק בנו. ויקח בידו את האש ואת המאכלת וילכו שניהם יחדיו. ויאמר יצחק אל אברהם אביו, ויאמר: הנני בני. ויאמר: הנה האש והעצים ואיה השה לעולה? ויאמר: אלוקים יראה לו השה לעלה בני, וילכו שניהם יחדיו. ויבואו אל המקום אשר אמר- לו האלוקים, ויבן שם אברהם את המזבח, ויערוך את העצים ויעקוד את יצחק בנו, וישם אותו על המזבח ממעל לעצים. וישלח אברהם את ידו, ויקח את המאכלת לשחוט את בנו. ויקרא אליו מלאך ד' מן השמיים, ויאמר: אברהם, אברהם! ויאמר: הנני. ויאמר: אל תשלח ידך אל הנער ואל תעש לו מאומה כי עתה ידעתי כי ירא אלוקים אתה ולא חשכת את בנך את יחידך ממני. וישא אברהם את עיניו וירא והנה איל אחר נאחז בסבך בקרניו. וילך אברהם ויקח את האיל ויעלהו לעלה תחת בנו. ויקרא שם המקום ההוא ד' יראה אשר יאמר היום בהר ד' יראה. ויקרא מלאך ד' אל אברהם שנית מן השמיים, ויאמר: בי נשבעתי נאום ד' כי יען אשר עשית את הדבר הזה לא חשכת את בנך את יחידך —מתוך בראשית כ"ב ...

רגע לפני שנשחט האיל, ונשם את נשימותיו האחרונות, הבין שמצא את האור וגילה את משמעות החיים. והנה כמה מהיסודות החשובים והחיוניים שהבין רגע לפני מותו: שמחה, אהבה, אמונה, תקווה, שלום. הם הפרח שבחיינו, הם האור עצמו המגלה לנו את משמעות החיים. "אשרי שמתי בידי צדיק וירא שמיים, אברהם אבינו המאמין. יש חדש תחת השמש", מלמל, ונפח את נשמתו.